My Mask

I found the mask you made for me

It was meant as a gift or as a reflection of how you need me

but I knew better

Always better

You made it for me not of wood or of plaster

But of flesh and actions of something

You thought was better

Always better

You don’t remember when you gave it to me

But I never forget

I am reminded each time I see it and it screams to me

“There is always something better

Always better”

Is it always better if I wear it?

Or always better because it hides me

Invisible

Always better

I will wear it for you

Just to show you what you need to see

It’s not the best for me but for you its better

Always better

The mask you see is always nice and pleasant

Never upset and always there

Its see through you and sometimes you know it

But it also sees with you – that something that is

Always better.

My mask is not enjoyable

The mirror shatters upon my reflection

Eyes burnt through with years of cigarette butts, smile turned down

With cuts running to the corners of my mouth painting a smile

So others don’t see its truth. Just something better

Always better

Others ask why I wear it

Very few can see its bitterness

I slip it off and remind them that it is simply better

Always better

I love my mask because you made it for me

You‘ve never made one for anyone else

It’s special and maybe even different so I wear it lovingly –

 Knowing there is always something better

Always better

I went into the main office yesterday at school and the head secretary, Lori - told me to look behind me. The local Auburn Reporter published a picture of some of my students singing at the festival! I was so excited i started jumping and squeaking (Ive had a coughing fit lately). so that was really really awesome.

later on when i got home from work, i had a letter waiting for me. AND IT WAS FROM THE SUPERINTENDENT! awesome piece for my portfolio. i was stoked. 

thats all...i love my students...they are so fun...

some of the 4th graders insisted on taking a 'fun' picture with me today for the yearbook (elementary year book?-you're thinking...wierd..i know!) but they insisted it be in a Charlies Angel style pose. i just laughed and posed myself in the back (sans the finger gun). 

I said this is going to haunt me in the yearbook i jsut know it...and the gal taking the picture just non-chalantly said..yea probably....i laughed...at least it will make good memories for some kids.

Today, I took 30 of my 50 choir students to perform at the Auburn PAC for the Uniquely Auburn Diversity Festival. Each of them showed up as planned and at the intermission we gathered and lined up, warmed up all ready to perform.

As we were collecting in the green room one third grader was very disappointed that the green room wasnt in fact green. as she entered she said with a hauty expression "oh my gosh...its not even green!"

I just smiled because that is the joy I get to experience on a daily basis. I told them as they entered that I wanted them in shortest to tallest order. But it was taking too long so I said "You have 30 seconds to get in order. D you are the shortest stand here...W you are the tallest stand there". I counted down and they quickly arranged themselves. There was another performer in the room as I gave them this direction and he looked at me as if this was an unreasonable amount of time for 3rd, 4th and 5th graders to assemble themselves. They finished and i made a few adjustments then explained how they would line up on stage. We organized into our 3 rows and started our singing. Our warm up consists of kodaly hand signs and singing and I do it in all my classes so everyone already knew it. We did some roller coasters and warmed up our lips and cheeks.

One of the songs we sang has 2 parts and the 4/5th grade choirs did one part and the 3rd graders did the other. We had practiced in our rehearsals but they had never done it together usually I would fill in with my voice the part that they would hear as they sang. It took the 3rd graders a little longer to catch on to their part and understand the fit of the two parts. The 4/5th graders had about 4 rehearsals with me on this particular song and they nailed it. These kids are so dedicated and are so willing to trust me with the work we can do and it made all the difference.

So I told them I wanted them to hear it with the actual voices that they will sing with and not my voice. So we ran through it twice and it was perfect. My general performance philosophy is that if we can rehearse it in class or in my room then we can just as easily perform it - so I didnt need to pull any studnets out of class for an extra rehearsal or insist that some classes re-arrange their schedule to rehearse for a performance (classroom teachers HATE that). There are some exceptions.  So we rehearsed it once then I had them line up for walking on stage and onto the risers. At that point some of them started singing it again and I just chimed in with them.

We had to arrange ourselves on the risers very quietly and they handled themselves very well on stage before the curtain was lifted. then we sang our two songs and they were absolutely amazing. Their voices and the blend and fullness of their sound has grown so much since the beginning of the year. They were focused and attentive and just awesome. I was so proud.

They nailed the sign language for the first song and the 2 part harmonies in the second song were just impeccable. I dont know if they know the level of quality and youthful professionalism they displayed today. I was just tickled pink though. I had no idea they could have sounded as good as they did today.  The superintendent was at the performance and she was very pleased and impressed with the choir as well. I wish I could describe their sound better - it was not the sound of children...it was like a well developed youth chorus. I am so happy and thrilled that they had the chance to perform at this festival. Watching them prepare and listening to them practice and seeing them get nervous is such a rewarding feeling.

I have the best job in the world. You may think yours is good or even great...but mine is better. I work with the coolest people all day long - I cant imagine being any more proud or pleased.

Lea Hill Music Club - You Rock My SOCKS OFF!

It is sayings like these that keep my days bright and remind me why I love what I'm doing. 

Adonys - Ms. Lindberg? Why do you use different colors for the points? ( I give them 10 points to start each day, I'll deduct or add points and at the end of class, reward them with a star on their incentive chart - perfect 10's get 2 stars and every 10 stars they earn I'll give them a pencil or sticker or something).

Me - What? I dont understand (doesnt make a difference to me)

Nolin - Its because she's a colorful woman!

I just laughed.

Ok Friend,

Here's the deal. That was amazing. Just plain HOT. You tore me up and out. And then you had to leave.

Thats bullshit. Now its all I crave.

Happily Pissed Off,
Gina

oh man...learning so much....writing so much....reading so much...its exciting and tough and wow at the same time....

let it be known....

Let it be known that today is such an amazing day for me. I've passed another through another door that I should have left closed so long ago. I've realized that by having opened the door I was able to overcome and pass on as opposed to the tenant on the other side who is still in the same damn place I left him 10 months ago. Again silly me for opening but hurray for me for being the better person.

Let it be known that I am 10 times any woman you may ever have. I am better and I have deserved better for a long time. I am smarter, stronger and more of a real self sufficient and self thinking person than you ever have been and maybe ever will be. I can think and feel for myself and therefore accomplish everything by myself and only for myself. I have no one to hinder me or to stop me in my tracks. I will get EVERYTHING I want out of life where as you will give EVERYTHING others want in life and sacrifice yourself  - aww such a nice guy. For that I pity you.

Let it be known that you may have hated to said goodbye today but I rejoiced and danced my happy ass all over the place. I could just shit glitter.

Let it be known that I gave this up first and that you had to close the door after I already left. I said my peace - adios.

Let it be known that in maybe 3 or 4 years from now I will be happier than I can even imagine myself to be today. You will probably be exactly where you are right now.

Let it be known that I do have fabulous memories of the times we did have. As dream like as they are I will always have my good memories.

Therefore - just remember that kids run away and you are still irresponsible, dependent and you haven't done anything to prove that you are a man.

Hello All,
This is just an FYI let you know that I will not have immediate internet access for the next few days. I am moving my computer to Renton and until I figure out the system we're going to use for my internet - I will have limited access. I will probably be able to check my email at least every other day so please be patient with me until about the 1st of July. I anticipate to be fully connected to the internet by that date.

Thanks!

Gina L.

1) Clean out Front Hall Closet
2) Living Room
          * Pack Books, Nintendos and Stereo (CHECK)
          * Move Book Shelf (CHECK)
          * Pack up Collectibles (CHECK)
          * Take Wall Decor down
          * Take Couch and Chair to the Dump
          * Attempt to clean carpet

3)Porch
          * Throw litter away (CHECK) 
          * Get rid of ghetto planters and wire shelf (CHECK)
          * Take broken desk chair to Dump
          * Clean out Porch Closet (HALF CHECK)
          * Give Porch Set away
          * Vaccuum turf

4) Kitchen/Dining Room
          * Move Book Shelf (CHECK)
          * Move Table and 2 non shitty Chairs
          * Separate Cookware
          * Wash floor
          * Move Cookware, extra food whatnot

5) Bathroom
          * Separate cabinet (CHECK) 
          * Throw away old drugs (CHECK)
          * Wash floor, sink, tub and toilet  X(
          * Pack up bathroom stuff

6) Hall Closet
          * Separate stuff (CHECK)
          * Pack stuff

7) Bedroom
           * Sort out unwanted clothing, which clothes to store for winter (CHECK)
           * Pack up Pampered Chef stuff still in closet (CHECK)
           * Clean off/out vanity Drawer/Top (CHECK)
           * Pack up Collectibles from desk and dresser (CHECK) 
           * Pack up 2 bookshelves and all books (CHECK)
           * Sort out filing cabinet 
           * Move Dresser/Desk/Bed
           * Bring all clothes to parents house
           * Get boxes for miscellaneous CRAP!

So you can see i have got a lot done so far but I still have a ways to go until im totally done. and to that all i have to say is OY!!